i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
