i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
