i just had sex bonerless
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
