Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize