you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
