some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
