It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
