I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
