He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
