just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
