Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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