hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
