Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
