help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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