Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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