Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
