Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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