Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
