i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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