i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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