you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize