Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry lavalaammmppssss hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me

Fav 20 1976 4933
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

Fav 11 1155 5634
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(219): View more from Indiana

NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh

(1-219): View more from Indiana

wow.

Fav 38 7035 3217
share tweet
(863): View more from Florida

There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.

Fav 21 7667 1666
share tweet
(530): View more from California

Maybe I'm a robot.

(831): View more from California

You can't be that drunk already

Fav 8 2505 964
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.

Fav 15 3300 784
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(231): View more from Michigan

Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.

Fav 30 1560 4293
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(607): View more from New York

This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.

Fav 0 126 136
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain

Fav 0 36 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT