even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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