At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
