Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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