i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
