But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
