Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
