Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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