we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
