Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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