and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
