what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
