Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
