My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize