you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
