May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
