The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
