Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
