Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
