after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
