God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
