:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
