There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
