Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
