turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
