i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just cut my nipple shaving
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
