sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
