Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
