Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
