the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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