ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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