I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
