i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
