she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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