Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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