He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
