And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
